Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
by Devil Woman
Summary: PG13 for suggestive grossout humor. Boys will be boys as Tidus and Wakka act like the college frat boys they are.


Don't Eat the Yellow Snow

By Devil Woman

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy 10. It is copyrighted by Square Soft (now called Square-Enix).

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was listening to Frank Zappa's "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" when this scenario popped into my head. Also, if you remember the old Nickelodeon show Wienerville's Hanukah special years ago, then you'll get the joke. Please leave a nice review (or rant) after you are done reading. Enjoy!

It was morning at Lake Macalania and Tidus was standing outside the Travel Agency. Ever since arriving 1,000 years into the future, the world, as he had know it was full of mystery to him. Tidus was on Yuna's pilgrimage to defeat Sin, so they party had stopped along the way to rest. It was early morning, and Tidus was up before everyone else. He stood outside, taking in the crisp and cold air from the night before. Having slept rather well, he wondered if Yuna had too, since she looked rather depressed since telling her decision about Seymour's offer to marry him. Tidus watched as the condensation puffs of air disappeared from his mouth. _Man, I'd wish I brought a coat. I'm freezing my nuts off! _he scolded himself. The Ice Temple was the group's next destination, hence the snow that was now covering the ground. 

Clasko, a member of the Chocobo Knights he had met earlier, had also stayed at the Agency with them. Before he left to catch up with the rest of the Knights, he was rather quite excited (if not nervous) about the idea of becoming a Chocobo Breeder. But he kept his hopes afloat and rode off after he bid Tidus farewell. Wakka, Tidus' friend, was also up. He too bid Clasko farewell, but went back inside to get something. "He must have forgotten something." Tidus reassured himself, just as Wakka came out from the Agency. "No, I haven't forgotten anything." Wakka said. "Then what is it then?" Tidus questioned. 

Wakka took him over the side of the Agency. A fresh blanket of snow had fallen the night before and the employees had cleared the trail for any new travelers. They raked the snow into large piles that where formed along the sides, leaving the road clear. "Check this out" Wakka said. Tidus watched a yellow-colored liquid squirted out and began to hit the snow bank. Wakka finished his creation with pride. The bright, white snow now had yellow graffiti all over it that read "**WAKKA RULZ!**" Tidus looked at Wakka, who smiled. "That is so cool!" he beamed. "Yeah, ever since I was a kid, I've been dying to try this! Wanna give it a go?" "Oh, I--" Tidus started to say, but Wakka gave him a playful punch in the arm. "Come on! It's like no one's gonna notice." Tidus was about to correct Wakka on his last sentence, but temptation gave in. He copied Wakka, writing "**TIDUS RULZ!**" in the snow. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Wakka asked after Tidus finished. "Oh yeah…let's get started!"

Lulu, Yuna, Auron, Kimahri and Rikku all came out of the Agency, ready to forge on ahead. "Say, where are Tidus and Wakka?" Yuna asked. She knew they where waiting outside for them. Yuna then heard two men giggling like schoolboys off to the side of the building. "It's them." Lulu said and motioned for the rest of the party to follow. Yuna gasped at the sight: Tidus and Wakka, with their backs towards the group, where "doodling" in the snow with something that was a yellow liquid. "What the Hell are you two doing?!" Lulu snapped. Both men quickly turned their heads. Tidus and Wakka saw the shocked look on Yuna (who had her hands covering her mouth to prevent her from screaming), the glares that both Lulu and Auron have them, the silent, but brooding look of Kimahri, and Rikku, who popped her head in between Yuna and Lulu in order to get a better look. The entire palette of snow was covered in various graffiti, from crude doodles of Chocobos, to simpleton phrases like "**SEYMOUR SUXS!**" 

"Oh, we were, uh…it was Wakka's idea!" Tidus stammered, then putting the blame on Wakka. "Hey, you followed in foot too!" Wakka rebutted. As the two bickered back and forth, Rikku realized was the yellow liquid was. She pushed her way through Tidus and Wakka and stood in front of the snow bank. "No, don't let her touch it!" Yuna said, seeing what Rikku was doing. "Kimahri says, don't eat the yellow snow!" But it was too late: Rikku had a clump of the yellow snow in her hand and took a bite from it! Everyone gasped in horror!

She swallowed and giggled with delight. "Man, I haven't had Lemonade Ice in such a long time!" "What the--?!" Tidus and Wakka sheepishly turn around and showed the group what was in their hands: Two large juice boxes with the Bendy-Straws still attached to them. The words _Moonflow Lemonade_ was printed on the box in bold **yellow** lettering. "You idiots!" Auron scolded. "That was the last of our lemonade! Now we have to wait until we get to The Calm Lands to get more!" Auron was about to slap Tidus and Wakka upside their head when Yuna reassured him. "Come on, let's not get too upset. We still have a long way to go." "Yuna's right, let's get going." Lulu said. Auron gruffed and walked ahead. Kimahri then followed, along with Yuna. Rikku, who had finished her first clump of Lemon Ice, grabbed a second scoop and skipped merrily ahead, munching happily on her frozen treat. Lulu then faced Tidus and Wakka and shot them another icy glare. Quickly, they threw their near-empty juice boxes aside. As they walked away from the Agency, Wakka said to Tidus, "You know the **'WAKKA RULZS!**'…that wasn't lemonade." "Neither was '**TIDUS RULZ!**'" Both of them laughed hard. "Idiots." Lulu said to herself as the party continued on their journey to defeat Sin.

****

THE END!

AUTHOR'S AFTERWARD: Oh, and Rikku took both scoops of "yellow snow" from the Chocobo doodles, which was made of the lemonade. 


End file.
